we broke up and he got another girl pregnant

iseeshiny I dont know why you dont understand that people think this guy is a scum, because he has said that he is going to be a deadbeat dad, and is pretty much taking no responsibility for what happened. Hey, honey, I thought you had control over your bodies? ha, Ive done too many drugs too. ReginaRey But instead, she rushed into a new relationship with some new guy, got pregnant, and appeared completely irresponsible. Whether or not the current laws are unfair to the man are irrelevant since this child has already been conceived. That is lie fed to naive girlfriends/wives. Once again its the way the LW and the bf (at least the way the LW is presenting his reactions) acted about the potential baby that are rubbing people the wrong way. If a man has sex with a woman he should be prepared for the possibility that it could result in child support payments. Knowing him for two minutes is not significant at all to a woman who feels that abortion is morally wrong for religious reasons. bittergaymark He ejaculates thats it. rainbow April 9, 2012, 9:30 pm. I cant imagine what my friend would have had to deal with if that was his child and he had to have dealt with her for 18 years. April 10, 2012, 7:21 pm. Im not sure why you think this woman is trying to trap your boyfriend unless there are other details you didnt provide. oy. Any complications from the abortion would be hers to bear, not his. lets_be_honest It is quite possible to become pregnant on the pill. I think hes allowed to have an opinion about the woman after all, hes about to be handcuffed to her for the next 19 years or so. Terminating his Parental Rights just means he has no say in childs education, no visitaton, etc. The idea that he owes his life to her now that hes fathered her child is precisely the reason so many people are in unhappy marriages and there is such a high number of marital affairs. April 9, 2012, 5:46 pm. Let me fill you in on reality: when a guy sleeps with a woman he believes to be on the pill, he does so with the not-unreasonable expectation that she doesnt want to become pregnant. Its not the mans moral fault that he didnt think he would be roped into parenthood by a singular sexual encounter when he was told she was on the Pill. I cant see how anyone would be upset with a man who agrees with that statement and concludes that he has every right to walk away from the whole situation. She came first. Some people are correct that the LWs anger is displaced. Hes a scumbag and your only choices are (1) say so now and be rid of him, or (2) wait 5 or 10 years and say Why didnt I see this 5 or 10 years ago? By then you may be after him for child support yourself, and good luck with that therell be at least one in line ahead of you every payday. Ahtrue, I reread the letter, and it did say ask not order as I remembered. Rather than holding him responsible, you have focused on the other women. Pretty sure this: and he is furious with this woman for keeping the baby is the browbeat part. Because he should have known she could have gotten pregnant! Well technically for me it was the way he reacted to his potential child and nothing about the way he treated the LW or the woman in the letter. I wanted to be the one who had a baby with . People think LW is out of line, because she has no right to be pissed at this women for wanting to keep a child, and no right to make up reasons why she is having this baby in the first place. she may well not be at all thrilled to be pregnant and not expecting anything from this guy. We got back together but he dragged her along through texts for a week until I found out. I Got Another Girl Pregnant Prank *WE BROKE UP SIGH*Hylton's family vlog - https://youtu.be/pV11uGFaESsItz The Taylor's - https://youtu.be/8hVLcR1kvrsSUBSCRI. Is that fair to women? April 9, 2012, 1:28 pm. April 10, 2012, 6:43 pm. Ugh so agree with Amanda. But to me, it sounds like youre misdirecting your anger. It was her choice. This child will have no father and while I dont feel bad for the parents, I feel very bad for this child. But youre too stupid/gullible to be angry at him. So the fact that none of your good friends have HIV (which is good to hear) doesnt necessarily mean that they are more capable of using a condom than the heterosexuals you know. If a guy wants absolutely to avoid becoming a father, he is responsible for using additional BC or not having sex with women if he doesnt know what their stance on unintended pregnancy would be. Yes, the woman in question should have been just as involved in making sure she didnt get pregnant as the man. Thanks for proving you and your ilk are out to entrap men to sustain your lifestyle by dropping as many babies as you can..and living on welfare checks honest people pay for..SLUT! People in healthy relationships say things like despite the circumstances that broke us up, we realized our relationship was worth working past those things by doing xyz Finally, the letter reads as a teenagers temper tantrum. Dont choose to roll those dice if you cant cope with all of the possible outcomes. I dont think hes scum based on this either. Thats what IVF is for either the male or the female gives of their own gametes. April 10, 2012, 9:46 pm. And the internet is this perfect little anonymous bubble for people to shoot off their anger. we broke up and he got another girl pregnant. Has she tried to convince him to come back to her? Dude, thats seriously out of line. Change the subject and attack is not debate and makes you look pathetic. You really have no idea what child support means. He had no more to do with the existence of this child then an architect who only provides half the blueprints has responsibility for the existence of the Pentagon. She still doesnt get it, but we tried. Inc. Lee's Summit MO. I still think the guy is an irresponsible dick, and the LW is acting like a brat, but I dont want to make any assumptions about his activities post the LW when we actually have zero information about it. Francine Like raising a child is easy. Im going out on a very weak limb to say that youre probably a better person than this letter which means youre definitely too good for him. So I have a pretty positive impression of my biological father. Malarky. That would be the end of any sort of relationship sex. No worries. He must be a complete scumbag, because no one ever has sex without a condom unless they intend to have children or are scumbags. Who the hell else is clicking that button??! All that does is make 3 people miserable (both parents plus the child). Where does the stork fit in? Marriage to this woman would be the most stupid thing possible. "Cry, vent and . Actually no. Heh, are you suuuuure you still want to be a professional therapist? reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): A I cried and felt so depressed. But, seriously you should both get tested for STDs. So your boyfriend said he wants nothing to do with his own child (except the required child support) and that didnt make you run screaming the other way? reader, TELLULAH+, writes (25 January 2008): A People in healthy relationships dont say that. Like getting child support is easy. Problem. No one called him a criminal. But coke didnt mean for its bottle to explode and take your arm off either. If the woman chooses to take on the responsibility of raising the child alone, she ought not have the right to force the indentured servitude (financial or otherwise) of the father against his stated wishes. According to this, then, a woman should have the choice of forcing the child, once born, onto the father, and then only paying child support for a couple of decades. honeybeenicki SweetsAndBeats I think difference is ensuring that the child is cared for. You seem to have completely missed the point that virtually anything we do involves risk, and that doing those things doesnt mean were prepared for any possible consequence at any time. Yes, it would be nice if he were eager to become a parent. 4) The boyfriend, especially given his age (and that this cant be blamed on youthful impulsiveness), doesnt look the best in this scenario. And MOA. Then how does the woman get off requiring the man to do it? However, I realize thats a pipe dream. April 10, 2012, 5:01 pm. But let me make a few suggestions Steve. But then again the child might be better off without such an jerk as a role model. Its just biological fact- unfair probably, but not something we can change. This is why homosexual couples have to adopt. I mean every word! One of the draw backs of only knowing someone for a short period of time. That is not acceptable. April 9, 2012, 1:57 pm. Plenty dont. meaning, i was on the pill, i brought condoms, i asked about testing. I dont know if hes a bad guy or not since we only have the ex-girlfriends side of the story. And finally we see what youre doing ranting about paternity laws and mens rights on a relationship advice site. Going through a breakup can be tough.It can leave you feeling restless and struggling to fill the white space left behind by the relationship. iseeshiny I think the overwhelming majority of adoptive parents are good, caring, nurturing parents. But if that rape victim gave birth to the child, dropped it on the rapists doorstep and left, its highly probable that the law would pursue her for child support. A forty-year-old man knows exactly how women get pregnant and how to avoid that if he absolutely doesnt want a baby. Why would you want a future with someone that could do something like that? Seriously, this makes my blood boil. Youve never used malarky in any prior comment, so I just dont believe you. Im currently going through a rough breakup with my partner of nearly 9 years, and if this happened to me two months from now I would be having angry, irrational emotions too. Women why do we allow men to sleep with us while they are drunk again..my god.I wont say dont continue your relationship but it will be hard. Go argue with the feminists. Whatever. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart. (yes, I know, lifes unfair). April 9, 2012, 12:32 pm, Well to start theres this ridiculous bit of misogyny and what seems like lack of understanding of child support: one of them is the ability to, once pregnant, get support for 20+ years from someone they might have just met.. Boyfriend got another girl pregnant. : r/survivinginfidelity A month after we broke up, she started a new guy. Besides, why would you want to be with a man who is with someone else? You sure arent one. No, then I would say she is just stupid. April 10, 2012, 7:23 pm. Now? Will he react the same? You mean, a man shouldnt be able to decide to throw money at his child, but never once be involved whatsoever in the childs life? wendy, i love you for leaving the crazies to us! what if you were pregnant, LW scenario thats been mentioned). But by that same logic, you must be prepared to call a woman who doesnt want to be a mom a scumbag for getting an abortion (in the instances the guy wants to keep it but that woman doesnt). I dont believe in forcing people to become parents either. If that means not being with your boyfriend for the next 9 months to a year, then so be it (I dont think youll die without him). Liberals only think of themselves. Fair or not, the facts are what they are. 1. So, again, why are you crying and being depressed over him? Friends of mine who were raised largely by their mothers but had to deal with their irresponsible, alcoholic fathers who dropped in and out of their lives whenever it pleased them did far more emotional damage to their children than my lack of having a father did to me. We're doing great but after a month, he confessed he got this girl pregnant. As for you LW, Im not even sure exactly what youre asking. The 16 & Pregnant cast member slash Teen Mom 2 firebrand is many things, but she has never been lucky in love. Woman are more easily able to get custody and so are more likely to get support. Maybe because she wants a tie to the LWs boyfriend. I wouldnt advocate using the pull-out method alone, but if some stranger says Its cool, Im on the Pill and you dont *quite* believe her and you dont have a condom, I guess it wouldnt hurt. Quit acting like hes so hard done by by this woman and tell him to get some responsibility. To everyone. You have no idea what youre talking about, with regard to child support. )boyfriend who got the woman pregnant. Unless youve been there, you dont know. Id like to hear your explanation as to why that should not be the case. Men dont have those choices if they dont want the child. Get over yourself and get over him. So, Chuck, despite the fact that no one is denying the fact that there are some people out there trying to game the system, Chuck, the fact that shes pregnant is equally their responsibility. I-RIGHT-I but he wants me and wants to marry me as he said all along Its called lying. Like most men are running around handing out free money to them without them having to fight for it. Miranda Lambert's new cop hubby lived a 'secret life' - Page Six Also, it implies that using a condom prevents pregnancy. And since shes the one with the baby in HER uterus, theres not a whole lot you can do to force her to have the abortion or stop her from doing so. Let him go. All Im advocating is the addition of a requirement that the woman has made a good-faith effort to contact the father-to-be once she found out that she was pregnant and that he didnt opt out of support. If she doesnt, DO NOT have sex with her. This whole letter is a giant Friends reference. reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): A In the long run, US ends up with what I like to refer to as the Feminist Mystake. lets_be_honest Its easy to think the guy is a scumbag for not wanting to be a dad. I am very much in love with my husband and believe him when he says he loves me too. iseeshiny Only men-children would not use a condom in this situation. You shouldnt expect him to bow down and praise the woman. Guy Friday Because guess what? But it is a dickish move to get someone pregnant and then decide youre not going to be involved in that childs life. After crying, talking, and crying a lot more, he left, and I closed the door behind him. Out of my 5 closest friends only one isnt a fan. April 9, 2012, 5:52 pm, Sounds to me like your sister isnt so much unlucky, but a liar. Been there ago. Come on, though Three times? I didnt mean to imply it wasnt true, it just unfortunately isnt enforceable. And he has agreed to support the child financially. I think this man, regardless his quality of character in other situations, demonstrates good foresight in deciding that no, hes not ready to be a father. I wish it's that easy. Except I acknowledged that was guesswork on my part. If this happens, he STILL should not be welcomed back. You, Chuck, seem to think that this means that all women do that. Susie is on birth control but they still discuss what names their eventual children will have. If you were instrumental in the making of the child congratulations it is yours. You dont want his problems. He had a FWB relationship with a girl and always used condoms. He doesnt want anything to do with her? Tell him to fuck off; if he couldnt live without you he should have figured it out before impregnating someone he cant stand. (Well assume she is pro life for non religious reasons because Im not sure why a religious person would be fine with banging after two minutes thats a whole other can of worms). Id at least like a comment from the LW, since, as much fun as this has been, I do agree that it seems not unlikely that the letter is contrived. I think your maturity should absolutely, completely be judged against how you react when life throws you unexpected thingslike an unplanned pregnancy. Another thing that happened in my friends case is that at the same time that they signed things to waive his parental rights, the mother had the child adopted by her fiance and then her fiances name was put on the birth certificate from the get go (though, this was all done behind my friends back and that part was done without his consent, nor was even discussed). landygirl. Also he could argue in court that the EXs fiance has taken on the role of father and the child would be damaged to find out that the fiance is not really the father. Increasingly, more and more, these letters just simply disgust me. Its a good word. No one has a condom, Lady says Its cool, Im on the pill and Dude says awesome, I already took my Viagra anyway, cant really run to the store. They bone. If the woman wants to abort, then she can, but thats a decision she has to make because its happening inside her own body. Child support, such as it is, is frequently used as stealth spousal support. SpaceySteph If he is 40 years old and still acting like a child chances are youre going to be stuck holding the bag. Now Im confused. React. If your dead-beat ex wants know part that is HIS decision. Take it from me, every man screws up at some point. Is he supposed to lie and say shes a wonderful person, if she isnt? Im not implying anything other than exactly what I wrote. Is it fair to a kid to be born into a world where his dad abandons him? 1) Like it or not, men have one point where they can decide whether or not to risk becoming parents (ie before sex, they choose the degree of risk based on what, if any, precautions they take). John Rohan Step back and take a look at what you have told us. Anytime you have sex, theres a chance you could get pregnant, no matter how careful you are. Deal with it, ladies. Translation: men should think before they poke but women can do whatever they damn well please. The man has NOTHING to do with any child creation. .of F****** Idiots. Just once. He says he'll do it after the first trimester as the girl's pregnancy is prone to miscarriage. Its not right Im sure I wouldnt. I think it is unfair that the man cant have sex without the possibility of becoming a parent, but the woman can. Thats shitty. But if you are uninterested in a relationship with him because of his newfound drama then walk away sister. evanscr05 If not, then why cant a man sever all legal and fiscal responsibility prior to the childs birth (as it would be a parallel situation)? skyblossom 1. Every woman who has given a child up for adoption is, in your mind, an immature asshole. April 9, 2012, 3:04 pm, Ill continue playing devils advocate here today I feel like a part of me has died . He ought to get a vesectomy since this guy is obviously carrying the manchild gene. She didnt sneak up in the dark of the night and steal his seed and turkey baste herself, Chuck. When you break up, you get the rare opportunity to see your ex's true nature at the worst of times. Typical female (notice I didnt use the word woman, because she isnt grown up enough to be one) wants to control every man and every bank account around her. 22. . Eh, he knows where babies come from and there are plenty of ways to have an amazing sexual experience that absolutely cannot result in anyone getting pregnant. I know that everyone is focusing on that, but I think that the response would have been the same even if the LW had acknowledged this. While I grant you that the lack of control for men once a pregnancy occurs is, in a sense, unfair, I think there is unfairness on both sides of the issue. This gets to the basic conflict. Ask Dr. Sherry: 'My Fianc Got Another Woman Pregnant, Now - Essence The only thing I can say that no one else has so far is, why would she want to trap this man?! Youre fucking advocating that brilliantly fool-proof method?! April 9, 2012, 3:33 pm, bittergaymark I have a feeling you are going to stay with this guy no matter what (since you would just diiiie without him). Theyre the exact same situation, but for some reason, hes scum. Regardless, this guy obviously doesnt seem like anyone you want to be in a relationship with. iseeshiny That was almost two years ago, and we never saw each other, spoke, or texted again. I cant even imagine how a grown man can be deceived into impregnating someone.

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