Are you crazy? But at this point I dont think her interest in sex will ever revive, so what would your advice be? I havent had a BJ for about 20years, my wife wont even touch my penis so a HJ is out of the question too. For most women, sexual desire is fueled by romantic feelings for their partner. For me, its been 8x in 3 yearsand Ive tried talking about it with him as frequency has dwindled to essentially nothing. I cant say all women are like this but the handful I have been with do not talk about what feels good to them or what they would like me to do and/or do differently. If thats the case, try to build a successful relationship after cheating; own up to your mistakes, have a heart-to-heart conversation with her and assure her that its all in the past. What the heck! Needless to say, both of us are feeling a renewed awareness of who we were and now are. You can clearly see that she is overworked and avoids intimacy. I want to turn things around and not give up but its a huge blow to what I thought marriage and my life would be. It's possible that your wife is no longer attracted to you or perhaps no longer interested in being married to youthough just note, a lowered libido alone is not necessarily indicative of a larger problem with the relationship. Sounds to me like youve picking your men from the bar. I stumbled here because my wife shows or accepts zero affection , caring or appreciation. Since I dont know your wife and I dont know anything about your conversational style or hers, I cant give you the magic words for getting the conversation started. Prostitutes are not a good option since all the bad stuff in the sex industry world and I feel that I am too old to move on and I am not a chick magnet. What to about it: Learn how to make a woman have an orgasm and how to make sex better for women. I miss the simple things. My biggest problem is that my wife is very, very against porn and at my age I cannot attempt to relieve my tension without it as a point of focus. We try vaginal sex sometimes but even lubing doesnt help all that much. Who cares whos got the problem enjoy not having sex! Anyway, I simply want you to know that as many women as men are trapped in this sadness. It also says that we are to make our bodies our patents, not ours. Nor, is it a reasonable demand that you need (should) accept. But this past 6 months I see things slipping and I feel we are not getting that closeness and are becoming more distant even though we do many things together. We celebrate the happy, imperfect love without judgment or bias, and strive to help people love more mindfully by viewing their relationship patterns from the lens of mental health and psychology. But you cant fix a problem if you dont know the cause. That never goes away for most women or men. Ive tried vacations, dates, sex toys, lubricants, vitamins, blah blah blah..when a gal is not sexually attracted to you and is generally more than willing to never have sex again cuz (insert the reason I dont understand here) shes not going to change at 70. My husband had 19 affairs. /** Frankly; its time to move on and out . He is unhappy with the state of your relationship. She is somewhat stressed by the reduction in lifestyle we have been reduced to, after years of six figure income for both of us. The wife was boring and I had to follow so many rules and regulations when it came to sleeping and sex together. You have grown as a human being . I urge you to seek help now. I tried internet sex and while interesting it is not enough. We men are not brain dead. And yeah I can pleasure myself, but that will never be like the real thing. She is intelligent and knows exactly what is going on. After reading most of the above letters I have come to the conclusion that married couples, for the most part, have all entered into relationships, never having the correct training. * RECOMMENDED CONFIGURATION VARIABLES: EDIT AND UNCOMMENT Thats why were looking at the most common reasons why your wife is never in the mood anymore and what you can do if your wife refuses to have sex. But from a womans standpoint, we need emotional love BIG TIME before we can go there. It is not fair that I have to take care of it by myself! I feared marriage for tears because I knew this is what it would be. . , motherhood, or work anxiety can cause your wife to feel too overwhelmed for intimacy. No, on a serious note, it wasnt something to have posted here. When she was in the mood, my wife really enjoyed sex and had great orgasms, but that mood hit less and less frequently. I dont know why Im still here. I read this with interest. However, whenever one spousewithdraws from the other, there is always a risk of your marriage being almost over. Like I have a total stranger as a house guest. My wife is an alcoholic so mood swings are often. Sadly so, leave! Who sacrifices? So I disagree when people say leave the marriage as soon as the sex stops. Your wife avoids intimacy because she feels neither desirable nor sexy. 1. all about love and couple relationships in their varied forms. I will probably need to work into my 70s or as long as I am able. Hes changing tooisnt capable of long walks or hikes anymore, which is still something I love to do. Her 90-year-old mother lives with us, and I love her like my own mom. She was before marriage. We went to a therapist who separated us and I thought that might help her confidence. Is there anything I can do. A husband must shoehorn that sex drive into the confines of marriage, where only his wife can accommodate it. Our mouths and fingers still work! What men want is for her to have some of that drive back. As I explained before on seniorplanet.org, spontaneous desire just happens, while responsive desire only happens after a womans body starts getting aroused. I understand all the reasons she doesnt want sex except one, if she actually loves me wouldnt there be some effort? I end up feeling bad about this as I think I should not be obsessing about it as she often says. I am going to be 42 years old!! Be gentle and calm when you bring it up. We have talked and talked with and without therapist, but its just talk. Rejection soon turns into resentment. Quit excusing inexcusable behaviors by your partners. I chose the platter for one. But when I try to go to the next level. Wow! There is simply no point in brushing the problem under the carpet. God as our designer and maker knows what is best for us. If the marriage has made you take your personal hygiene for granted, this lax attitude could be a total turn-off for her. I have the same problem I love my wife but I need sex. If your wife wont have sex, it could be that she just doesnt feel close to you anymore, and the idea of being intimate makes her feel too vulnerable. Im 65 and just want a happy, peaceful existence and I cope with EVERYTHING 100% , except sex. Really its happening with many couples as the year goes and children born the interest goes down. There is some offensiveness directed towards men but I can benefit from your observations. I am 52, married for 25yrs and sex has dwindled down to once every year or two. 3. I hope that she too will woo me, always, as well. If your wife won't touch you, maybe something has changed. (Side note: why do women get to have multiple organisms?). not someone to basically jerk off into. If your wife is struggling with any mental health issues, she may be less interested in sex at the moment. So not. 9. I have come to that conclusion also. That you are incapable or unwilling to engage in a relationship with a woman as an equal says a lot more about you than it does about marriage. But his belly sticks out a lot and makes it extremely difficult to get in because of 3 things. Regardless of the reason your wife has pulled away from you, you must confront the situation. Is it me or does it seem like sex therapists and experts are lacking, some seem hedonistic? In such a case, it could be the reason why your wife avoids intimacy. Like, whats wrong with me? 13 Subtle Signs Your Wife Is Not Attracted To You Anymore - And 5 My wife avoids spending time with me. If this is a real concern for you then ask yourself was there ever any infidelity or cheating on your part? I chose to stay just to piss my wife off. Im in ok shape, not overweight . Her duty? Amen. Ive been married three times and my third wife is the number one compared to the first three. Your wife never initiates physical contact - Sex feels like a chore Is your mind saying - "my wife loves me but is not sexually attracted to me?" Your wife never initiates physical contact and she does not seem excited by that idea either. . It works for him. Ive considered a fuck-buddy, but I cant do that to her. Its not all about sex its about intimacy, and that is missing. You are so right, I should leave but feel guilty, leaving over sex. I just cant keep going like this. My 20 year marriage imploded because my husband completely lost his testosterone at age 55. She would still complain of pain. Living alone would reduce frustration of a non-response. That may be one reasons why so many husbands. Im basically living a lie until the time is right for us to part ways. my dad is 85 years old and my mom is 5 years his senior at 90 years old. My wife and I are celebrating 48 years together in January. I am 64 now and have had some vaginal atrophy, which made penetration hurt, but I take a vaginal pill twice a week. Simply, and probably naively, the answer to your question is, NO, it is *not* my right, nor in any way acceptable. And Ive been caught too. Wow. At that time my job became demanding. I was already starting to think that I was a man born in a womans body!!! It was even suggested I try penile injections at bedtime so I can at least get hard for her pleasure. He will once in a while hold my hand for about a minute and always gives me a peck on the check before he goes to bed. I miss the sex, but I miss even more holding her in my arms snuggling with her just touching her maybe copping a feel she sexy. A person wants to, and intends to, stay faithful to their spouse in a sexless marriage and be a good Catholic at the same time is faced with, what seems to me, a no win situation. I look good for my age and am so tempted to look for another relationship. Related Reading: How Do You Deal With A Quarrelsome Wife? I am really starting to think that sex was not made for pleasure, but for reproduction and when the reproductive years end for a woman, so does her desire for sex diminishes or ends and men that still have a desire, suffer in silence or become broke from a divorce and visiting prostitutes. Its only going to get worse.

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